bounceback

Change begins in me

It was so easy to blame everyone else for my situation. If only my son’s dad would stop drinking, the fights would stop and everything would be perfect. If only my parents came to help me out more my life would be easier. If only I had my own place things would be more peaceful.  If only I could win the lottery and all my financial troubles would be taken care of. 

At the height of the relationship with my son’s dad, we were fighting a ton and I was in a lot of pain. There were nights that I had to get away from him and would grab my baby and dog and find the cheapest motel room for the night so I could sleep. My final straw was when he wanted to crack open a beer in my car while I was driving and our son was in the back. I refused and I finally put my foot down.  I was crying and yelling and probably to onlookers I looked like a nut case. My mama bear rage was in full force and I didn’t care at all about what anyone thought of me at that moment. 

My therapist suggested I go to Alanon, a 12 step program that helps families of alcoholics.  I hesitated big time and didn’t go until we had this blow up. The closest meeting was not far and I went even though I felt awful. I couldn’t hide my puffy eyes and I was so distraught and sad and defeated.  The people there were very welcoming and they even took turns rocking my son.


At the end of the meeting someone said with so much love, “take care of yourself” I nodded and said yes but I realized that I didn’t even know what that meant. I was so worried about everyone else and I neglected myself too. I was in survival mode and struggling badly.  On the surface I did my best to keep it together. I maintained my job and I started reaching out for help and support. I found friends at exercise classes and online and they became my support system.

I started to create the life that I wanted even though that wasn’t my reality and things started to get better.  There were a lot of ups and downs. I started to tap into my strength and finally found the courage to leave the relationship. I saw how much it was affecting my son and left.  I had to reclaim my power and remember who I was and that I was here for a purpose.  Not only to be a mom to my son but to also help other moms going through similar situations. I was so glad that I started finding my voice and realizing my worth and it all started when I finally started to take care of myself and check in with myself, notice what I notice and started taking care of me for once.

It’s still very much a work in progress and I like to look back and see how far I’ve come and celebrate the wins even though I'm not where I want to be yet. I’m a work in progress and I’m no longer pointing the fingers but taking a look at what I’m doing and what I can do better next time.  Giving myself grace and love helps me move forward and show up for my people.

If you loved this and would love to hear more like this I invite you to hop into my community online where I share, support and empower women to live their best life now. Here’s the link to jump in, and if not no biggie:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/allheartandhopeful

My Story

 

Ever since I was a young child, I was always very moody.  Considered ultra sensitive, my anxiety was always through the roof.  As a young adult I got therapy and took prescription drugs which I thought would help.  I even had an as needed anxiety medication I had a panic attack.to keep on me just in case. I just wanted to feel like myself again.I tried different medication and therapists, hypnotherapy, whatever I could find.  When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I decided to stop all medications, even down to over the counter to protect my baby. I liked not taking a bunch of pills daily but I didn’t feel like I was getting any better.  Everyday I put on a face so everyone around me would believe everything was okay when I knew I clearly wasn’t. 


I always clung to a Higher Power for protection and guidance and my faith carried me through many years of uncertainty and very high stress. I was unhappy in my relationships, my job, and more. I felt like my whole life needed a makeover but I had no idea where to even start. One day this lady came into the store where I worked and she shared a new way of thinking.


Now I’m so much happier and feel a million times better overall. My faith in the Universe/Higher Power/God/Spirit grows more and more each day.I am working on my health and wellness and my life has changed drastically. I gained confidence in myself to leave bad relationships, left a job and found a better one (or two).  Most of all I see my dream life vision coming together slowly, yet surely. I’m so excited to help others do the same.I have an amazing support group of awesome women all working together to achieve our dreams. I see that the power of positivity and love is contagious and I’m happy I can share that with the world.  Of course I still have ups and downs but now I have tools to help myself and others that can relate.


Come join our group of amazing ladies all working together to build our dreams in a loving and high vibe atmosphere. 

Are you ready and want to learn more? Contact me! 

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