It’s officially back to school time. Parents and kids are excited and nervous as we navigate going back to in person classes in the Bay Area.
This year’s start was an interesting one. Damian started off the week in a whirlwind. Day one he got hit in the eye by a new kid who got upset after kickball. I’m so proud of him that he didn’t lose his temper and fight back. Day two he had a really bad tummy ache. Today is Day 3 as I write this and I wasn’t sure at first if he should go to school or stay home.
In the past I would have just powered through it and made him go to school and pushed myself to go to work. This time I talked to a few trusted friends to see what they thought and I decided to trust my gut and keep him home. Years ago I’d be so mad at myself if I needed to take a day off. I’d freak out over how many hours I’d be getting and be worried sick and full of fear. Today thankfully it’s a different story. I know when I trust in God and am open to the possibilities good things happen. Things start coming together more and more and this adds to the belief that everything happens for a reason.
Maybe D was overstimulated and stressed from the transition from our very small circle to over 300 kids and starting a new grade with a new teacher. This was very different from second grade which was distance learning from home with me. Regardless, it was clear he needed his rest so staying home was the best option to spend the day together taking it easy.
I got my child development bachelor's degree years ago and I’m using it in my own way by making a positive impact on families starting with my own. We are more loving and kind to each other and our communication is so much better. I had to work on myself first and I see now it’s how you treat people that impacts people one way or another. In deciding to be kinder to myself, I am reminded that it’s perfectly okay and healthy to take a pause. I used to associate taking a pause as quitting and I don’t like giving up. Now I see the pause as part of the dance. We go forward and back, take a spin here, go slower, or faster there. It’s all part of the journey.
I give myself permission to take a rest day or a break as needed. I understand and appreciate those breaks now. I realize it's a way of honoring and taking care of myself. Without the necessary pauses, we can dangerously burn out like the candle burning at both ends. Let’s enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast! I can’t believe Damian is in the 3rd grade already! I share my light and message of love and care for ourselves, our keikis, and communities. Together we can have our positive impact be felt all over the world.
At the beginning of the year I thought about what was important to me and how I wanted my 2021 to turnout. After 2020 I had the chance to pause and pivot while being on lockdown. In January, I came up with goals in several key areas of life. I thought about what I wanted my life to look like with my family, fun, finance, field, fitness, friends and faith. I came up with 3 goals in each of these categories and from those 7 goals picked the one that resonated with me the most. In my past, I probably would have easily picked fitness and to lose so many pounds. This time I wanted to do something new and different. I choose me, all of me. I decided my number one goal for this year was to be my own best friend.
Over half the year has gone by and I realized that it was time to check in and evaluate how things are going with my goal.
The first part of this goal was to get to know myself more. Like really get to know myself for me and really examining what’s in my heart of hearts. After becoming a mommy, raising Damian was my focus and overtook my life. It’s still definitely a huge part and I love being a mom but besides that who was I? I really thought about what values were important to me and why. In 2019 I broke up with my then boyfriend and I was sad but also relieved. I needed a break from trying to please others and start making myself happy. It was the first time I let myself be single and focus on myself first. In my past I’d go from relationship to relationship and I knew it wasn’t healthy. Instead I started to date myself. It was of course painful at first but now I like not having to answer to anyone and I do what I want when I want period.
After some self-examination with a heart centered approach instead of the harsh "shoulding" on myself constantly, I focused on the friendship part and thought about the relationships I have in my close circle. My tribe, as I call them, believes in me and reminds me of my awesomeness just for being me. They reassure me that my heart is one of gold and my resilience in how far I’ve come. They love me for me on my good and bad days and remind me I'm enough just the way I am. This year I've been more mindful about how I talk to myself and therefore treat myself.
One of the biggest parts of being my own best friend is listening to my gut more and being more confident in my skin. Taking a pause when needed to ask myself what I would really love and listen for the answer helped me be more in tune with myself. I am still very much a work in progress but I am happy that I am making myself a top priority after neglecting myself for many years. I’m grateful for my tribe and the unconditional love they give so freely.
If you liked this blog and would love more, feel free to hop into my group All Heart and Hopeful, Happy and Healthy Moms where we talk about topics like this and more.