Grateful for So Much

The idea for my next blog was a completely different topic than what I’m writing now.  The very rough draft is saved for another time.  As I tried to write it, the blog words didn’t feel right and weren't flowing how I wanted so I knew it was time to pivot. 

This week was another roller coaster. Ups and downs and big feelings.  This time it hit closer to home.  I’ve lived in my apartment complex in Oakland since February 2015.  My son was 2 years old when we first moved in. So many memories of really good times and really bad ones too and all in between.  

On Tuesday night I was laying down and getting ready to drift off to sleep when I heard a loud bang on my window.  I wasn’t sure if someone had accidentally hit my window while walking by with a bike or what was going on. Then I heard someone say Fire!! I peeked my head through the curtains and saw a big black cloud of smoke coming from the next door neighbors door and windows.  I threw on some leggings and a hoodie and woke Damian up and told him to get dressed and we had to go outside quickly.  I grabbed my phone, keys and child and went out to the courtyard where the neighbors had come together.
 
The flames were billowing and I called 911 to make sure the fire department was on the way. I was put on hold and stayed calm mostly for Damian. He asked me why I didn’t grab our electronics and I told him those things can be replaced but not you or me.  Gratefully the fire department did come right away and was able to contain the fire.  It was devastating to see all the belongings thrown out and all the damage done.. Damian and I played Jenga to pass the time while we waited for the okay to go in our apartment.  I didn’t get any pictures of the flames because I was in such shock to be honest. And even a few days later I’m still kind of shaken up by it. 

The firefighters were wonderful and didn’t let the fire spread. My apartment which shares a common wall was not touched. I know 1000% that we were protected that night.  The only remnants of a recent fire when stepping into my apartment is the smell of the smoke and the chemicals from the foam that was used to put the fire out. No black markings on the wall or roof, no ash, nothing. 

God is so good in so many ways.  I honestly believe practicing my prayer for protection with my hula halau helped.  In class we would recite and sprinkle water all over our apartment.  As we watched the fire fighters fight the flames I was just praying and so grateful that everyone got out safely.  

I’m so grateful we are okay and our apartment was spared. Damian and I will probably still be processing this experience for a while. I learned a few lessons that night. Always be prepared.  Even having an extra change of clothes for us in the trunk would've been good if we needed to evacuate and stay somewhere else for the night. We are protected. My conviction is confirmed that I'm here for a purpose and last but not least, renters insurance is a must.

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How forks in the road kept me on my path



Looking back there are choices or forks in the road that had a big influence on where I am today. 

One of the first forks in the road for me was when I was 10 years old. My parents rekindled their romance and decided to move to Maui from Kauai. They had asked if I wanted to go with them but I had just got accepted into the same school that my friends were going to so I said I wanted to stay on a Kauai and my aunt and uncle agreed to take me in. 

The next fork in the road that I can remember was when I was 16 I was told it was time for me to switch schools again and I had a choice between a very conservative school in California or a more reasonable school in Michigan. I had wanted to either stay at my school that I had attended since the 5th grade and or a boarding school on Oahu but my aunt and uncle refused. I ended up choosing the Michigan school and I made several close friends there that I still keep in contact with even now 20 years later. 

A third fork was after my first hard breakup. I moved to San Francisco to be with my boyfriend at the time and after 3. 1/2 years together I had to decide if I was going to stay in the Bay Area or go back home to Hawaii. I chose to stay and get my degree. My initial plan was to come up to California for 4 years to get my degree and come right back home but that didn’t happen. 

There's another fork that may seem shocking or maybe you didn't know I went through. Check out the video above if you're curious :) 

These are just a few examples of times where God, the universe, my creator looked out for me and guided me on the right path for me. There are many other times I can think of that I am thankful for every step along the way. The journey has been an interesting one with twists and turns and many obstacles and it’s still a journey I’m learning to navigate. All the memories, the good and the bad, the highs and lows, all helped shape me into what and who I’m becoming and I’m so grateful for all of it and what's coming next.

Would love to hear some of your forks in the road that made a big impact on your path.  I find it so interesting how we all got here and continue to grow individually and together.

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Grateful When Things Work Out Better than Expected

I’m here to report miracles. When I’m grateful more and more things come together easily and effortlessly. As I write this I’m on a plane headed for Maui. When I woke up this morning I dragged my feet going to work. Just a few hours I told myself, and then I’ll be free. After work I rushed home and proceeded to take care of a few things. Dishes, check. Trash and recycling check. Packed everything and double checked my luggage check check check. 


Before I knew it my clock said the time time I was supposed to be at the airport. Oops. Last time I flew home I missed my flight and my step mom was already texting me where I was and if I was at the airport.

I called a Lyft and thankfully I got a nice driver who was friendly and reassured me that I’d make my flight on time. He even ran a red light so he got a nice cash tip. He dropped me off at the airport and I walked into the terminal. I found a self check in kiosk and I grabbed my luggage tags and boarding pass and got in line to give my bags to the airline so I wouldn’t have to worry about my big heavy bags. Once the bags were dropped off I got in the security line and waited patiently. I was praying the whole time and saying thank you. Before I knew it I was handing my boarding pass and Id to the TSA agent and getting scanned at security. I found my gate and asked where the preclear check was so I could bypass waiting in the line on Maui. I found a long line and asked if I was in the right spot. A lady got to the back of the line at the same time I did. Actually I was there first but trying to social distance  and she went in front of me. My anxiety was already through the roof and now this lady cut me in the line. Woosah. I decided to not make a fuss. I was annoyed but I refused to loose my cool. The lady that cut in front of me tried to cut another lady in front of her and then a few minutes later a bunch of people leaving for Honolulu including the cutter had to leave for their gate. As I inched closer to talk to the agent and the person that could give me my wristband time was running out but I decided that I would try and if I had to wait on Maui so be it. 

Then I heard my flight number and my gate called. I was one person behind and thankfully and gratefully I was next and I had all my info ready to go. The agent made some small talk as he looked at my documents. Finally he gave me my wristband and I walked to the gate. My group was boarding and I literally walked on the plane. I felt like I was floating. When I was on the walkway getting on the plane I video chatted Damian to tell him I was boarding and that I would see him in less than 5 hours. 

When I found my window seat and row to myself I settled in and tears started flowing. I realized that my vision is coming true. The part where I say I fly back and forth from Hawaii to California easily and often just kept ringing in my head.

I am just so so grateful how everything worked out step by step. Divine timing was perfect and I am literally on cloud 9.  Dreams really do come true. 



Part of my Story

Part of my Story

A couple years after my son was born I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. I hated the person standing in front of me. My focus was on the extra weight and how exhausted  and stressed out I looked.  I was essentially a robot going through the motions and doing what I needed to survive. I hated my job and I felt so lonely. I was super depressed and my anxiety was through the roof. I tried therapy and medication but it wasn’t working for me.  I knew I had to do something to switch it or I would go down an ugly dark path of no return.

I was in the middle of a very stressful relationship with my son's dad. I knew I had to start taking care of myself even if it was baby steps. The happy, outgoing, friendly and fun Leslie was no longer in this body and I had no clue how to get her back. I wanted to enjoy life but I had no clue how to. 

I started looking online for ways to help me lose the weight.  Thankfully I found a community of women on Instagram that was inclusive and supportive and spoke my language with mermaids, unicorns, glitter and sparkles and all pink everything.  Little by little I was doing the things. I started working out most days even if it was only 15 minutes and changed my eating habits. I was so desperate to lose the weight that I would do anything to get me there. After I put my son down to sleep I would sneak upstairs (we lived at my ex’s moms house) and meal prep  in the dark because I didn’t want to wake up anyone or worse have to answer when asked what do you think you’re doing? It wasn’t my house so I felt weird meal prepping when everyone else was cooking “regular” food. As time went by, I was getting more and more motivated. The weight started coming off and for a couple years I stuck it out and lost over 50 lbs.  People were saying, “You look good” and “awesome job!” but it never went to my head or heart. I just brushed off any compliments or people noticing.  The strangest thing to me was that even after the weight loss, I still saw the same person I saw in the mirror. I still hated myself more than ever. 

Looking back I see that I was still people pleasing and not truly honoring myself. I thought doing what people wanted to get their approval would make me happy but I was wrong. I know that I create my own reality and life doesn’t happen to me. I have a choice and I have power within to change my story. I took my power back one day at a time by realizing and accepting that my life was unmanageable and I needed help and I asked for help wherever I could find it. 

I had a few more rock bottom moments and I gained some of the weight back but even with that, my life today is so much better.  It’s a totally different picture. I love myself more than ever. I took two years (which is a long time for me) to be single and really focus on myself and it’s paid off big time. Peace of mind is priceless. I have my own apartment that is close to my job with better pay and less stress.  I started my own business a few years ago and shifted my business model from product to heart centered service. I got connected to an amazing business mentor that speaks life over my business and inspires me and others. My friends are loving and thoughtful and also keep me accountable.  I love that we are encouraging each other to dream big and inspire others. Opportunities appeared that I never thought would happen and things just get better and better. I am so happy and grateful. The main change had to take place in me before my life could change. I had to realize my worth and build my confidence up. I had to trust myself again and remind myself that I am love, lovable and loved.  I’m still a work in progress.  I hope that sharing my story and putting myself out there inspires other moms to not give up and to find support and help.  Life is way too short and I want to live it to the fullest with no regrets and with those that I love each day.


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My Good Morning Routine

Working from home for most of this year definitely had some challenges.  In the beginning things were quite chaotic with trying to navigate distance learning and working from home.  Even 8 months later it can still be a challenge to get all the things done.  


One thing that I did to help create some consistency and stability was start a morning routine. 

The very first thing that I do after I wake up and check the time to make sure I didn’t oversleep (let’s be real) is say my gratitudes quietly to myself.  I like to say them before my feet touch the floor.  This simple time to pause and reflect keeps me grounded and connected to my Creator. Every morning we wake up is a gift and I never want to waste it.  


Next in my routine is get the coffee maker and diffuser going while I watch my mentor Martha Krejci on YouTube to get motivated and inspired with some direction for the day. Most days I grab my notebook and take notes. Coffee in a big mug with half and half is my favorite.  And in the diffuser I choose oils depending on how I’m feeling. I usually choose a calming and focus blend.


After my dose of Martha, I check in with Crystal, my team leader and partner in business to see how each of us is doing and feeling.  If we need to shift some shiitake we might talk about it or we might work on shifting it.  Then we chat about what’s on the agenda for the day. We have a bunch of events every week so it’s important to stay on top of it. 


By this time it’s usually around 8:30 am so I wake up my little one to get up in time for school.  This boy loves his sleep and I try to be creative in waking him up. He always gets kisses and snuggles and sometimes a song.  He absolutely loves his morning tickles. Once he’s up I give him a piggyback ride to the living room. He picks how he gets to school everyday.  Someday it's a rocket, submarine, jeep in a jungle safari or race car. This part of the routine is ending soon though because my back!


Then it’s time to log on to school for him and work for me and off we go to have a great day.


Do you have a morning routine you do?  Anything from my routine you liked that you want to try out??


If you loved this, you might like to get my free guide 5 Ways to Keep Calm.  You can grab it right HERE


Have a really great day! <3 
 
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