Three years ago I hosted a clean makeup party at my small apartment. It was the first time I gave this a try. I just signed up with new company. My sponsor told me we had a team that was growing. I learned about Crystal and started watching her videos online. I wanted to figure out how to run my side hustle with ease while having a single mom and working a full time job. I had very little free time or, let’s be honest, energy to host weekly in person events. Crystal and her sister Cass showed up to my place at my event and we hit it off. I was so grateful they came. The get together was rough to say the least. The lighting was bad, there were barely enough seats for everyone, and I was nervous and stressed. My niece, her 2 year old son and my son were there too. The kids played in the bedroom for a while but then after so long they wanted to see what was going on and who was over because it was a rare occasion. Damian was so happy and energetic seeing all these new faces at our place. Crystal and Cass totally didn’t miss a beat and played with him while I was doing my thing being a good hostess and not showing how stressed out I was. I couldn’t thank them enough! We made plans to hang out again soon.
What I didn’t know is how much we had in common. As I spent more and more time with Crystal, it became more apparent to me our connection wasn’t just about the business. I learned so much about her story and how it related to mine. We both have similar dreams where we are our own boss working from home and spending more time with our families. We both want nothing more than to see our kids grow up into kind and loving humans and make a positive impact on the world doing what they would love.
We opened up more and more about all things Mom life and learned about our childhood traumas and how we’ve been healing. What things worked for us and why and what didn’t work and why. We had a bunch of deep conversations that were mind blowing and healing. We laughed and cried together too many times to count.
We resonated with some of the same mentors and quickly we started having daily check-ins to make sure we were on the right track towards our vision. If one of us was feeling low energy we check in and hold space and listen and give feedback when needed. It’s never a do this or else energy. Now we ask the questions, “What feels good and What would I love”. No more push and shove and scare tactics as recovering control freaks but more listening to the inner voice, the soul's voice.
I’m on vacation in Hawaii right now to spend time with family. Our matriarch Grandma Zorayda, or Grams as we affectionately call her, turned 91 years old. To celebrate, family came from all over the country. It was like a mini family reunion. I can’t remember the last time we were all together like this. The age range was from 8 to 91 years old.
My favorite part of the trip overall was the conversations happening. I loved hearing stories of how our family was connected and memories from different people. I loved hearing more about my moms childhood and stories of my Papa who passed in 2003. We laughed and cried together. At Grams birthday party my uncle from Nola was a riot. He sang Ilocano songs to my grandma and she was laughing hysterically. One of my cousins recorded it and Grams loves watching the replay and laughing just as hard as she did when it was happening live.
At dinner one evening, our party was large so we had to be seated at 2 different tables. I was at the “kiddie table” and loved it. I had a pretty deep conversation with my cousin about what I went through in the years we were apart. I told her about my desire to help other single moms to not feel alone but supported. I told her about the courses I’m creating and the life coach program that I’m developing. I told her that I realize now that having a big heart is my superpower when before I shied away from it and was taught to be seen not heard.
Last night was my favorite. The older cousins hung out and talked openly. No topic was off limits. We opened up and learned a lot about each other and the family. And I realized that what brought us closer together was having these talks. No judgment or criticism, just curiosity and openness. It was a beautiful thing and a huge contrast to how things were in the past. When we are kind and loving, showing aloha to ourselves and each other, we can have tough conversations, resolve any issues and get closer.
Now that I’m a parent I have an even bigger responsibility to continue the legacy by holding space and participating in these open and honest conversations and to be a safe place for my son to express himself fully. We may not always disagree but we can always be kind. If we need space it’s ok to take a pause for some fresh air or take a bathroom break.
Coming together with kindness instead of the rough and gruff fear tactics ways of thinking is a much better way. I choose to be loving and kind and have a positive impact on the world one day at a time and one conversation at a time.
If you love this and would love to be a part of a high vibing community of women who are uplifting, inspiring and empowering each other to find what feels good and what we would love, hop into my group All Heart and Hopeful Happy Healthy Moms.
