A couple years after my son was born I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. I hated the person standing in front of me. My focus was on the extra weight and how exhausted and stressed out I looked. I was essentially a robot going through the motions and doing what I needed to survive. I hated my job and I felt so lonely. I was super depressed and my anxiety was through the roof. I tried therapy and medication but it wasn’t working for me. I knew I had to do something to switch it or I would go down an ugly dark path of no return.
I was in the middle of a very stressful relationship with my son's dad. I knew I had to start taking care of myself even if it was baby steps. The happy, outgoing, friendly and fun Leslie was no longer in this body and I had no clue how to get her back. I wanted to enjoy life but I had no clue how to.
I started looking online for ways to help me lose the weight. Thankfully I found a community of women on Instagram that was inclusive and supportive and spoke my language with mermaids, unicorns, glitter and sparkles and all pink everything. Little by little I was doing the things. I started working out most days even if it was only 15 minutes and changed my eating habits. I was so desperate to lose the weight that I would do anything to get me there. After I put my son down to sleep I would sneak upstairs (we lived at my ex’s moms house) and meal prep in the dark because I didn’t want to wake up anyone or worse have to answer when asked what do you think you’re doing? It wasn’t my house so I felt weird meal prepping when everyone else was cooking “regular” food. As time went by, I was getting more and more motivated. The weight started coming off and for a couple years I stuck it out and lost over 50 lbs. People were saying, “You look good” and “awesome job!” but it never went to my head or heart. I just brushed off any compliments or people noticing. The strangest thing to me was that even after the weight loss, I still saw the same person I saw in the mirror. I still hated myself more than ever.
Looking back I see that I was still people pleasing and not truly honoring myself. I thought doing what people wanted to get their approval would make me happy but I was wrong. I know that I create my own reality and life doesn’t happen to me. I have a choice and I have power within to change my story. I took my power back one day at a time by realizing and accepting that my life was unmanageable and I needed help and I asked for help wherever I could find it.
I had a few more rock bottom moments and I gained some of the weight back but even with that, my life today is so much better. It’s a totally different picture. I love myself more than ever. I took two years (which is a long time for me) to be single and really focus on myself and it’s paid off big time. Peace of mind is priceless. I have my own apartment that is close to my job with better pay and less stress. I started my own business a few years ago and shifted my business model from product to heart centered service. I got connected to an amazing business mentor that speaks life over my business and inspires me and others. My friends are loving and thoughtful and also keep me accountable. I love that we are encouraging each other to dream big and inspire others. Opportunities appeared that I never thought would happen and things just get better and better. I am so happy and grateful. The main change had to take place in me before my life could change. I had to realize my worth and build my confidence up. I had to trust myself again and remind myself that I am love, lovable and loved. I’m still a work in progress. I hope that sharing my story and putting myself out there inspires other moms to not give up and to find support and help. Life is way too short and I want to live it to the fullest with no regrets and with those that I love each day.
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There are so many awesome charities out there that are very worthy of our support. I suggest you research and find charities that resonate with you and donate time and or money when possible.
La Casa De La Madres is a charity in San Francisco that inspires me. In English, translated to the house of the mothers, this organization provides women and families dealing with domestic violence with resources such as shelter and support. They have a 24/7 hotline available to call or text if needed.
Funds donated to this organization goes towards food, employees salaries and also additional programs and resources like workshops and other must haves. There is a lovely play room and outdoor area for kids that could use some updating.
The residential housing provided is a safe and secure place for families to come to get their life together. The residents have weekly chores and responsibilities to help the house run smoothly. This helps the moms feel like they have a sense or purpose and can contribute to the household.
The mental health support is crucial and at times the counselors are so overbooked that they don’t get to help as many families as closely as they would like. Many of the women that come here have fled bad situations and need to feel safe and feel like they are important and valued. Many times they come from toxic relationships that are controlling and very manipulating. La Casa has counselors for both moms and their kids too.
This organization has been around since the 70s and has been extremely helpful to the community by helping these moms get back on their feet. They assist with looking for permanent housing and employment and help with getting on general assistance and food stamps. They also can connect families with legal aid to ask questions for the next steps.
For my birthday this year, I was honored to raise funds to support this organization. Here’s a link to donate if you feel so moved: https://www.lacasa.org/donate
I know each dollar will be used to help the families in the community that are hurting and so desperately need it.
A few years ago I learned the hard lesson that I am the only person in charge of me, myself and I. I used to blame others for hurting me and then used that as an excuse to be a victim. Since I reclaimed my power, I’ve done a few things to be happier. Here they are:
I stopped caring about what people thought of me. So many people told me I would not be a successful business owner. I was told I should just move back home with my tail between my legs and I’d be better off. I used this negativity to fuel my fire even more. I blocked out the haters and their negativity and surrounded myself with high vibing, positive people all learning, growing and improving together. These ladies became my tribe and my biggest support. I got really picky about who and what I spent my energy on. One of my favorite mantras is Go where the love is.
I made it a habit to mind my business and make sure I’m good with my Creator. My circle got smaller but my relationships with people got to be more richer and fulfilling. I started to pay attention and be more present than ever.
Something else I made sure I did regularly was honor my alone time. Usually in the mornings I enjoy quiet time with a nice hot, fresh cup of coffee and pray, meditate and say my gratitudes.
I started making more time to do more fun things alone and with my son. I love my dance classes and made it a point to dance more even around my apartment. My son loves dancing too and sometimes we dance together. He’s a pro at flossing which is not my specialty. We started having a regular family night and put it on the calendar together. We play board games, paint and watch movies and find more fun things to do together that we both like.
Whenever I'm feeling low energy or just drained, I find things to reenergize my soul. One of my favorite things to do is spend time in nature. I love the water, especially the beach and whenever I can get away even if it’s a few minutes to breathe in the salt water air and listen to the waves, I feel a million times better.
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Working from home for most of this year definitely had some challenges. In the beginning things were quite chaotic with trying to navigate distance learning and working from home. Even 8 months later it can still be a challenge to get all the things done.
One thing that I did to help create some consistency and stability was start a morning routine.
The very first thing that I do after I wake up and check the time to make sure I didn’t oversleep (let’s be real) is say my gratitudes quietly to myself. I like to say them before my feet touch the floor. This simple time to pause and reflect keeps me grounded and connected to my Creator. Every morning we wake up is a gift and I never want to waste it.
Next in my routine is get the coffee maker and diffuser going while I watch my mentor Martha Krejci on YouTube to get motivated and inspired with some direction for the day. Most days I grab my notebook and take notes. Coffee in a big mug with half and half is my favorite. And in the diffuser I choose oils depending on how I’m feeling. I usually choose a calming and focus blend.
After my dose of Martha, I check in with Crystal, my team leader and partner in business to see how each of us is doing and feeling. If we need to shift some shiitake we might talk about it or we might work on shifting it. Then we chat about what’s on the agenda for the day. We have a bunch of events every week so it’s important to stay on top of it.
By this time it’s usually around 8:30 am so I wake up my little one to get up in time for school. This boy loves his sleep and I try to be creative in waking him up. He always gets kisses and snuggles and sometimes a song. He absolutely loves his morning tickles. Once he’s up I give him a piggyback ride to the living room. He picks how he gets to school everyday. Someday it's a rocket, submarine, jeep in a jungle safari or race car. This part of the routine is ending soon though because my back!
Then it’s time to log on to school for him and work for me and off we go to have a great day.
Do you have a morning routine you do? Anything from my routine you liked that you want to try out??
If you loved this, you might like to get my free guide 5 Ways to Keep Calm. You can grab it right HERE
No, don’t worry this isn’t an infomercial or anything close. I’ve just been contemplating it since it's almost the end of this year and on to the new year. Last week we celebrated Thanksgiving and sat there as an overstuffed turkey from all the food and I couldn’t help but be so filled with joy and gratefulness and feeling just so so so blessed.
Gratitude is the one thing that I have found that shifts negativity or low frequency feels to positive and high vibing. A dear friend encouraged me to try gratitude years ago but I wasn’t ready to work on myself so I would just roll my eyes. This year more than ever I find myself saying my gratitudes first thing when I wake up and before my feet touch the floor in the mornings. I see and feel a big difference in myself and how I show up for my family and community. Attitude and mindset are everything and I love starting each day on a positive foot.
What are some things you are grateful for? I’m so grateful we have our health and can be active and move. I'm so happy and grateful we live in a state that has decent weather all year long with sunshine on most days. Damian is always so full of energy and I am so grateful he’s a happy boy for the most part. He does have his passionate tantrum moments and we are working on shifting those times more together. I’m also grateful to be a better parent this year- less yelling, more loving. More present. It’s definitely not perfect but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m so grateful for the time we’ve gotten to spend this year even though it’s been interesting navigating. I’m grateful for my support system and most importantly my Faith and spiritual life.
There are definitely things I could complain about that happened this year, but it doesn't do any good in my opinion. In fact, it just kills the vibe. I’ve worked at putting my energy and attention on what I focus on. Things that are positive and growing deserve our attention more than ever.
Today, December 1st I’m starting the Glittering Gratitude Challenge. I'd love to have you join me if you want to give this gratitude thing a try for yourself. Everyday for 30 days share a post or video on your social media and tag me with something that you are grateful for. I’ll be going live in my Blissfully Healthy Ladies Facebook Group everyday too and would love you to join us in there if that feels good you are welcome! I’m so grateful for all the support I receive and look forward to give back and help others too.
