Last week was spring break and I surprised my little one with a short mini vacation to the cute little surf town in Santa Cruz. The drive down there was rough with traffic most of the way down. But once we got there, the weather was perfect for the beach, pool and the Boardwalk. I got us a decent motel less than half a block away from the action. Taking advantage of the free parking was great. Thankfully we went in the middle of the week so it wasn’t crowded and actually quite nice.
I’m from Hawaii so I really liked the charm and vibe of this surf and chill community. After a day and a half of the boardwalk with rides, games, miniature golf and fair food, we finally went to the beach. I laid out my towel and put sunscreen on the boy before he went to enjoy the water. I walked to the water's edge and felt the very cool (nearly freezing for me) water. I was instantly brought back to reality that I was in California, not back home.
As I watched the daredevil kids try to get into the water for a swim but getting pushed back to the shore because of the waves crashing close by. Each set that would come in the small up and down waves and then crescendo into a big beautiful glass like crest shaped barrel was so mesmerizing to me. Taking in all the saltwater air smell and the sand between my toes, I couldn’t help but think that’s how life is. A bunch of ups and downs and when it's all coming together forms the most beautiful wave. I’ve heard the saying ride the wave and go with the flow so many times. But what I’ve learned is that when I do ride the waves and enjoy the up and down journey it prepares me for the big beautiful outcome.
Another quote I’ve read is I can’t control the waves but I can learn how to surf. I had dreams to learn how to surf when I was a little girl and still sometimes in my dreams now I imagine riding a wave on a longboard looking fierce in a two piece. Above all I need to trust that God/Universe/Angels and Ancestors all have my back. Everything is supposed to be the way it is. My job now is to enjoy the ride and help others enjoy their ride along the way.
Rockstar Moms was created for the overworked, overwhelmed mom that has a ton on her mind and her to do list feels incredibly long. They may feel like they are drowning with all their responsibilities and feel like they’re stuck in a hopeless situation. She may be in a toxic relationship feeling alone and unworthy of being happy. She may be depressed and always angry and overly anxious without even realizing it. She may have young kids at home that need her to show up for them daily. She may feel like she’s living her own groundhog day over and over and over again.
Why did I create this course?? That woman was me about 6 years ago. My son was 2 years old and I was depressed, discouraged and on the verge of giving up. My son’s dad and I had a very rocky relationship and I nearly resigned to the idea that my life was going to stay the same or get worse and the thought that my life would get better seemed too good to be true. I felt alone and confused. I worked my tail off at my job that I hated because I was in survival mode.
Today my life looks and feels so much better than it did not that long ago. I reached out and asked for help when I realized that it was too much for me. I got into support groups and created my own community and started working on my connection to my Higher Power. I moved into my own apartment and got a better job closer to home so no more crazy commute. I worked on my self care and started loving myself for my resilient heart and not so focused on outside appearance or worrying about pleasing others but made myself a priority. I started dreaming again and little by little my dreams are becoming reality.
In a nutshell, I created this course to help moms realize and remember their worth. I want moms to know they are supported, seen, heard and above all loved. We have weekly momentum calls with group coaching to ask questions and get support. I share my steps on how I took back my life, reclaimed it and made it mine again. I remembered who I am and worked on my confidence and forgave myself for not knowing any better before. Now i see that my struggle can help so many more moms that are going through similar situations and that gives me hope and encouragement to do even more and speak out for those who can't or aren't ready to yet
I’m a single mom of a very energetic 8 year old boy. His dad and I split when our son was three years old so I’ve been doing the single mom thing for five years now. Looking back I can now see what I needed the most was to know that I wasn’t alone. Even though I felt like it, I wasn’t. My Higher Power, God, Universe was with me and had my back the whole time. Some days because of my crippling anxiety and depression, all I could do was say “God, please help me.” He totally did and still does daily. When I get out of my head and surrender and be open to possibilities, things happen that I could never have imagined. When my connection to the Divine is strong, I can believe in myself. I know God doesn’t make accidents and we are all here to serve a purpose. It was hard for me to believe in myself when I felt alone and not worth anything. Even though I was super shy, I joined groups that were positive, uplifting and welcoming. I surrounded myself with people that saw the good in me when I couldn’t see it myself. I started reaching out so i wouldn’t feel so alone. I would go to zumba class regularly. I joined a hula halau to connect me more to my roots and found some amazing .And I found a community online that was all about women empowerment and health. I started taking care of myself little by little and giving myself grace and created my own family and support system. I started dreaming again and investing in myself and my business. Now my tribe has grown even more and working with heart centered people in the growth mindset and abundance energy is so much more fulfilling and I am so very grateful for it all. Now I have the honor to help moms going through something similar. Our story is never the same, but may have some similarities and I believe that I went through my experience to help others not feel alone, give some help, cheer you on and encourage you to connect with your spiritual side.
A couple years after my son was born I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. I hated the person standing in front of me. My focus was on the extra weight and how exhausted and stressed out I looked. I was essentially a robot going through the motions and doing what I needed to survive. I hated my job and I felt so lonely. I was super depressed and my anxiety was through the roof. I tried therapy and medication but it wasn’t working for me. I knew I had to do something to switch it or I would go down an ugly dark path of no return.
I was in the middle of a very stressful relationship with my son's dad. I knew I had to start taking care of myself even if it was baby steps. The happy, outgoing, friendly and fun Leslie was no longer in this body and I had no clue how to get her back. I wanted to enjoy life but I had no clue how to.
I started looking online for ways to help me lose the weight. Thankfully I found a community of women on Instagram that was inclusive and supportive and spoke my language with mermaids, unicorns, glitter and sparkles and all pink everything. Little by little I was doing the things. I started working out most days even if it was only 15 minutes and changed my eating habits. I was so desperate to lose the weight that I would do anything to get me there. After I put my son down to sleep I would sneak upstairs (we lived at my ex’s moms house) and meal prep in the dark because I didn’t want to wake up anyone or worse have to answer when asked what do you think you’re doing? It wasn’t my house so I felt weird meal prepping when everyone else was cooking “regular” food. As time went by, I was getting more and more motivated. The weight started coming off and for a couple years I stuck it out and lost over 50 lbs. People were saying, “You look good” and “awesome job!” but it never went to my head or heart. I just brushed off any compliments or people noticing. The strangest thing to me was that even after the weight loss, I still saw the same person I saw in the mirror. I still hated myself more than ever.
Looking back I see that I was still people pleasing and not truly honoring myself. I thought doing what people wanted to get their approval would make me happy but I was wrong. I know that I create my own reality and life doesn’t happen to me. I have a choice and I have power within to change my story. I took my power back one day at a time by realizing and accepting that my life was unmanageable and I needed help and I asked for help wherever I could find it.
I had a few more rock bottom moments and I gained some of the weight back but even with that, my life today is so much better. It’s a totally different picture. I love myself more than ever. I took two years (which is a long time for me) to be single and really focus on myself and it’s paid off big time. Peace of mind is priceless. I have my own apartment that is close to my job with better pay and less stress. I started my own business a few years ago and shifted my business model from product to heart centered service. I got connected to an amazing business mentor that speaks life over my business and inspires me and others. My friends are loving and thoughtful and also keep me accountable. I love that we are encouraging each other to dream big and inspire others. Opportunities appeared that I never thought would happen and things just get better and better. I am so happy and grateful. The main change had to take place in me before my life could change. I had to realize my worth and build my confidence up. I had to trust myself again and remind myself that I am love, lovable and loved. I’m still a work in progress. I hope that sharing my story and putting myself out there inspires other moms to not give up and to find support and help. Life is way too short and I want to live it to the fullest with no regrets and with those that I love each day.
If you liked this blog and would love to be in a supportive and empowering community, I'd love to welcome you into my group All Heart and Hopeful Happy Healthy Moms.
There are so many awesome charities out there that are very worthy of our support. I suggest you research and find charities that resonate with you and donate time and or money when possible.
La Casa De La Madres is a charity in San Francisco that inspires me. In English, translated to the house of the mothers, this organization provides women and families dealing with domestic violence with resources such as shelter and support. They have a 24/7 hotline available to call or text if needed.
Funds donated to this organization goes towards food, employees salaries and also additional programs and resources like workshops and other must haves. There is a lovely play room and outdoor area for kids that could use some updating.
The residential housing provided is a safe and secure place for families to come to get their life together. The residents have weekly chores and responsibilities to help the house run smoothly. This helps the moms feel like they have a sense or purpose and can contribute to the household.
The mental health support is crucial and at times the counselors are so overbooked that they don’t get to help as many families as closely as they would like. Many of the women that come here have fled bad situations and need to feel safe and feel like they are important and valued. Many times they come from toxic relationships that are controlling and very manipulating. La Casa has counselors for both moms and their kids too.
This organization has been around since the 70s and has been extremely helpful to the community by helping these moms get back on their feet. They assist with looking for permanent housing and employment and help with getting on general assistance and food stamps. They also can connect families with legal aid to ask questions for the next steps.
For my birthday this year, I was honored to raise funds to support this organization. Here’s a link to donate if you feel so moved: https://www.lacasa.org/donate
I know each dollar will be used to help the families in the community that are hurting and so desperately need it.
